Rainmakers & Kalashnikovs

"Do you have rainmakers in Italy?" ... You all know the answer to that one, so I won't repeat the one I gave, but what you probably don't know is that here in Sudan "sometimes they are liars.. they are just pretending". So if you are ever looking for a rainmaker, watch out! Gotta do some serious research... wouldn't want to get yourself one of them fake ones.
Even if you were sitting right next to me now I would have to be writing to communicate with you because unless I yelled, you wouldn't be able to hear me. The rain is coming down so hard on the iron sheets right above my head that the noise dominates the sound waves like when you are standing next to the Iguazu waterfalls on the Brazilian side... ok, that is not exactly a mainstream analogy, but if you ever make the trip, close your eyes and think of rain falling on iron sheets in Sudan. But seriously, it sounds like there are two guys up in the sky fighting over the faucet. For a while just now it looked like the anti-rain guy, who was turning it closed, got the better of the rain-lover; but no, looks like the rain God's protege came back with a vengeance and opened it all the way. Maybe the dry season comes when they break the faucet altogether and they need to call the plumber. Must be a Sudanese plumber because it takes him more than 6 months to get the job done. Reminds me of the only electrician around these parts. We were looking for him the other day, only to find out that he was in jail. Sounds like one of the other NGOs, Concern, might go try to bail him out... they really need him to work on their vehicle. Who knows how long that will take, but you know what shocks me about the fact that everyone is always late around here? The fact that even if it's 4:25 people say "it's almost 5". I mean, it's always "almost" such and such an hour, which would make you think that people are looking ahead, and would therefore not be late as much. I don't get it. Then again, when people come on time I don't understand how they do it considering they don't show up wearing a watch. When someone is wearing a watch you can't miss it though, because usually the watch is digital and somehow the alarm always goes off. What do you expect to happen if someone's watch alarm goes off? They turn it off, right? Well, not here. In Sudan it just keeps ringing the whole minute, full blast, and you look around and nobody even turns to look, as if nobody even heard it. My guess was that nobody knows how to turn it off, but I like David's explanation better: they want to keep it on to show people they have a watch.
Yesterday I saw rainbow twins. The two half-arches were right next to each other in the sky, very bright, but the order of the colors was reversed: one went ROYGBIV from left to right, the other from right to left. Maybe if I had been a better physics student that wouldn't surprise me, but it did. The beautiful sighting came seconds before we had to retreat indoors, where David and Lasu proceeded to discuss the advantages of the Kalashnikov, which even after getting overheated can be simply thrown into the water to be cooled and will be good to go. You can even shoot underwater! Do the Russians use them to hunt polar bears up there in the Arctic? Must investigate. As for in Sudan, we all know what they were used for, and could still be used for. Remember, it is not over till the fat lady sings, and there aren't many fat ladies around here, so it's no surprise that the headline on one of the Sudan biweekly papers reads: "The next war will affect Sudan's neighbors", "The next war will rock the North" "...a full-scale war". David actually recounted some of the past battles he was a part of, but I'll spare you the details. Let me just say the last story ended with him pointing out a piece of shrapnel, which will forever be embedded in his left forearm.
Once upon a time a man was relieved of his duties as a guard (in other words fired, or "sacked" as we say around here). At the end of the following month he came to his former employer asking to be paid. The exact conversation was not recorded, but this is clear: his former employer explained to him that since he was no longer employed and had not worked for the last month, he would not be paid. The former employee left and returned some hours later with two Kalashnikovs. He threw one in front of his former employer and held the other one over his shoulder saying, "I don't shoot an unarmed man...let's go outside". What year did this happen? 2007, you bet. You'll be happy to know that the employer was a project manager at one of the other IRC sites in Southern Sudan. I'll tell you one thing, I'm happy I'm getting out of here before anyone needs to be fired.
Trying to do all I can before I leave though. I got to play dominos at the local market today, where I found out that the team who let us play in their stead were nice enough to waste a donkey on me and my teammate (four people play dominos in teams of two). Turns out that the men from the two sides of the "road" play each other every day at this market, and they begin the day by deciding on a number of "donkeys" they will play till. I guess as a means to ensure they will not play all night. These "donkeys" are really just another name for "games", so since we lost a game, I can say that I made them lose a donkey. Sounds better than "we made them lose a game". Tomorrow we're gonna try to play soccer with the young guys from Darfur who live at the IDP (internally displaced persons) camp near our compound. I only have 2 days left here in Kauda!
I was hoping I could make it through my last week without getting sick, but... although the headache that was bothering me the other night turned out to be only as a result of too much "DOOM" being sprayed in my room, or so I have concluded, today I made a very unpleasant discovery. The water in the pot that I have been drinking from, is also home to a tribe of worms. Sounds like I'll be taking home some souvenirs in my stomach! Can't wait for one of those funny patriotic immigration officers to ask me "nothing to declare?"